I'm a huge misanthrope. I don't like being around large groups of people, ever. Today I went to my youngest brother's graduation and a graduation party for the son of my mom's friend, and it was tremendously depressing. There was a huge co-mingling after the graduation, and I watched as people I knew chatted merrily away with people I didn't know--I don't blame them for ignoring me because I ignored them, too. The idea of reaching out to these people was a little repulsive, and I stood quietly. To see me standing there you'd never know that I went to high school with some of these kids for two years.

Then the grad party... I hate grad parties, because I always end up sitting away from the party watching the sky. I never know anyone (not even at my own), and I don't like strangers. It's so clear how people work, but getting up the energy to meet new people kills me. I hate new people, and I don't have a lot of old friends to fall back on because I hate them, too. Even people from high school that I hang out with, with maybe a little better than two exceptions, and it's not fun, because they remember me from high school, and treat me like I am that guy. I'm similar to him, it's true, and I have little desire to kill that boy, but I wish I could have stood up for myself in high school.

Some comfort comes in not knowing anyone who graduated this year--I can easily avoid their parties, if only because I'm not invited to any.

I admit it's been some time since I updated here. Truth be told I ought to have more to say, but I really don't. I've been thinking about a new ...idea, I guess, for a story, but it's incomplete and I get confused whenever I think about it. It's not especially creative, or anything, but I want it to be somewhat original; I'm tired of just writing about Digimon with different names.

In less than two weeks I turn 20 years old. In less than two weeks, I am no longer a teenager... it's strange, in retrospect. I've been a teenager since... well, October 6th, 2001? Thirteen is technically "teenaged" right? After seven years, I barely remember anything before without some prompting. Oh sure, I'll remember random things, but most of my early life is hidden from me, remembered only through photographs and second-hand memories.

How strange it is, to think that even my own memories aren't genuine, that they're audiovisual falsities, really my father's memories more than my own. How long have I been a genuinely functioning creature? I remember a line of indistinct Christmasses... random days at lunch. I realize now that I was made to sit at the same table every day at lunch in first grade... and after that, throughout most of my high school career, I'd choose a table at lunch, and sit there for the whole year. I'm formed of those years; not entirely forgotten but how accurately remembered? I remember nights alone dreaming of mummies and triceratops...

Disturbing childhood fantasies, a cowboy named Bread, my Chuck Norris sweater, playing with an ancient Optimus Prime. Wierd memories dredged by some moonshone machine. Never think of anything--where did it come from?

I've completed the series, I've finished the final book. In keeping with my tradition, I read the entire book in one sitting--a tradition I started at the age of 12 when I recieved The Sorceror's Stone for Christmas... 9 months after the conclusion of the Battle of Hogwarts in 1998.

How strange--I used to be slightly annoyed that Harry was older than me by just a few few years, then, relieved as I surpassed my fictional hero in age with the release of the 6th book. Imagine my suprise when JK Rowling cemented his age on his parents' graves!

Looking back, I see places where things could've been changed, but of course it's impossible to wish that. The details that make up these books could've been integrated. My chief problem is that a spell that becomes integral later in the series (ahem, the Fidelius Charm) is never mentioned before it's used, and it isn't unusual to see an unwieldy plot device simply forgotten (ahem, Time Twister).

There's a lot to like about these books, even if it occasionally feels patched together--I can forgive JK Rowling that. I won't pretend she's the most amazing author I've ever read, but her work is impressive, and her improvement is notable. Her world is delicious, and, unlike so many, lacks the familiar anachronisms that make the experience so frusterating.

If you haven't read them, that's okay, I can't force you and if you haven't entered into the hype yet I doubt I can make so persuasive an argument that you'll change your mind.

Read a book!

I just saw Transormers, and I must say it had the desired effect. I sat enraptured by this movie. That iconic sound--the familiar ringtone of an Autobot or Decepticon doing what it does best--will jangle around my head for weeks. I may flail my arms--if I do so, don't be alarmed--I am simply transforming into a car.

Like all films it's flaws are numerous and I'm going to ignore them--while I'm deeply ashamed at the nearly total lack of character development, I blame it not on poor story telling but the new technology in the action movie field, and it's implications on an audience's expectations. A director can do more now than ever before for less money. Which costs more, destroying a 40 sqaure foot model of downtown Los Angeles that took 12 guys a year to make (for a shot that leaves little lasting impact on its audience) or nearly two hours of constant destruction of computer-generated buildings, landscapes and robots?

With the increasing realism of graphics, the full power of CGI is brought to bear on an audience increasingly detached from a good story, blinded by the fireworks. Character development is an object totally unadressed; some of these characters we never see nor get closure. Bumble Bee was perfect, though--incapable of speaking for most of the flick, he mimed so perfectly, spoke in XM radio. Megan Fox was really hot, Shea LeBouf is a good actor; one I'd like to see buddy-copped with Justin Long. They play essentially the same character, a face-off would be fun.

Seriously, though, see this movie if just for the amazing special effects.